![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So this afternoon, after visiting the Magic Kingdom, I went to the store with my mom so she could do her weekly shopping and I also picked up a few things. Ben was generally good in the store until I got into the checkout lane, and then he started to get agitated. I knew exactly what was bothering him; we had gone shopping and did not buy any diapers, frozen french fries, or juice. He absolutely expects to get all of those things when we go to the store, so he was convinced I was forgetting them. I calmly explained to him that everything was ok, that we had plenty of those things at home, and that I appreciate him reminding me but he didn't need to worry about them. Had we been able to get through the checkout line reasonably quickly he would have been agitated but manageable until we got out to the car where he would have calmed down right away.
Unfortunately, the person in front of us in line had some sort of problem, which involved having to send someone back to exchange an item. I don't know why the cashier didn't just suspend the sale, but we were stuck waiting for over ten minutes. During that time Ben got progressively more and more agitated, and also started making the piercing screeching sound he makes when he gets upset. I continued to try to calm him, and yeah, it started to get on my nerves. Finally he screeched one time too many and I looked him straight in the eye and said very loudly, "Benjamin, enough!"
Now, when I say "very loudly" I mean loudly enough to stop everyone within a hundred yards dead in their tracks. I have a very aggressively commanding voice on occasion. Ben's response was to stop his behavior immediately. He also teared up a little, but was not actually crying. I would also like to point out that although I clearly lost my temper, I did not become the least bit physical with him. Nor did I use profanity, berate him, demean him, or explicitly threaten him in any way. I said two words very loudly. That's it. And it worked.
Right after that the transaction in front of me finally completed, I was promptly rung up, and I paid my bill. As I was about to leave I was stopped by a busybody who got up in my face and asked, "was that really necessary?" My first response was to tell her to mind her own business. She did not accept that response, nor make any move to get out of my way. I certainly wasn't about to physically push her out of the way, so at that point I explained that my son was autistic, that he was getting very agitated, and I had to break the pattern. Then I pointed out that I have a dozen years of experience in dealing with my autistic child, and also suggested that when she sees something like that nine times out of ten it is not what it looks like. And finally I pointed out that the thing I really resent is continually having to explain myself to complete strangers for the past decade.
At that she finally backed down and got out of my way.
So I ask you, what did I do that was so terribly wrong that it warranted the intervention of a complete stranger? I did not so much as raise a hand to my child. There was no physical abuse, no threat of physical abuse, no demeaning of my child. I simply said, "Benjamin, enough" very loudly.
But I guess I'm the asshole.
Unfortunately, the person in front of us in line had some sort of problem, which involved having to send someone back to exchange an item. I don't know why the cashier didn't just suspend the sale, but we were stuck waiting for over ten minutes. During that time Ben got progressively more and more agitated, and also started making the piercing screeching sound he makes when he gets upset. I continued to try to calm him, and yeah, it started to get on my nerves. Finally he screeched one time too many and I looked him straight in the eye and said very loudly, "Benjamin, enough!"
Now, when I say "very loudly" I mean loudly enough to stop everyone within a hundred yards dead in their tracks. I have a very aggressively commanding voice on occasion. Ben's response was to stop his behavior immediately. He also teared up a little, but was not actually crying. I would also like to point out that although I clearly lost my temper, I did not become the least bit physical with him. Nor did I use profanity, berate him, demean him, or explicitly threaten him in any way. I said two words very loudly. That's it. And it worked.
Right after that the transaction in front of me finally completed, I was promptly rung up, and I paid my bill. As I was about to leave I was stopped by a busybody who got up in my face and asked, "was that really necessary?" My first response was to tell her to mind her own business. She did not accept that response, nor make any move to get out of my way. I certainly wasn't about to physically push her out of the way, so at that point I explained that my son was autistic, that he was getting very agitated, and I had to break the pattern. Then I pointed out that I have a dozen years of experience in dealing with my autistic child, and also suggested that when she sees something like that nine times out of ten it is not what it looks like. And finally I pointed out that the thing I really resent is continually having to explain myself to complete strangers for the past decade.
At that she finally backed down and got out of my way.
So I ask you, what did I do that was so terribly wrong that it warranted the intervention of a complete stranger? I did not so much as raise a hand to my child. There was no physical abuse, no threat of physical abuse, no demeaning of my child. I simply said, "Benjamin, enough" very loudly.
But I guess I'm the asshole.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
And no, you aren't an asshole.
*hug*
From:
...
let us just say that your restraint is making *me* feel quite the asshat for saying,
"that child should be spanked now,"
four times in the first twenty minutes of -An American Tail-