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About fifteen years ago there was this girl I was crushing on. She managed an arts and crafts store in the mall where I worked, and I talked to her frequently. We only ever actually went out on one date, to see Encino Man starring Brendan Fraser and Pauly Shore. I knew we would never have a relationship when, after enduring ninety minutes of the most inane crap I had ever seen committed to film, she turned to me with a huge grin on her face and said, "Wasn't that great?!?"
Anyway, a few weeks before that memorable date I offered to give her a ride to the airport one day. I drove out to her place to pick her up, helped carry her bags to the car, and took her by the mall to take care of a few things. As we were walking through the mall I noticed a few people snickering at me for some reason, which I elected to ignore. From there I took her on down to the airport and got her sent off on her way to California.
As it so happens,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
retcon happened to be down in the Seattle area that day and needed a ride back home, so I picked him up. We stopped off in Renton to check out a sci-fi book and gaming store, and as we were walking around the shop one of the clerks came up to me.
"Excuse me," he said, "but do you realize that the entire seat of your pants is torn out?"
I was mortified to discover that the seat of my pants was ripped out from almost the waistline down to the crotch. Suddenly I understood why those people had been laughing at me back at the mall. Suddenly I realized that I had spent hours with this girl I had a crush on, with my underwear hanging out. Did she notice? Was she just being polite and didn't want to say anything? I was absolutely horrified!
I mention this story only because a few minutes ago I went put into the laundry the jeans I was wearing yesterday. The jeans that I had on as I walked around the Winter Park shopping district. The jeans that I wore to the Florida Film Festival. The jeans that, yes, now have a huge tear in the seat of the pants about four inches long.
Argh!
Am I just destined for humilation at the hands of my trousers?
Anyway, a few weeks before that memorable date I offered to give her a ride to the airport one day. I drove out to her place to pick her up, helped carry her bags to the car, and took her by the mall to take care of a few things. As we were walking through the mall I noticed a few people snickering at me for some reason, which I elected to ignore. From there I took her on down to the airport and got her sent off on her way to California.
As it so happens,
retcon happened to be down in the Seattle area that day and needed a ride back home, so I picked him up. We stopped off in Renton to check out a sci-fi book and gaming store, and as we were walking around the shop one of the clerks came up to me."Excuse me," he said, "but do you realize that the entire seat of your pants is torn out?"
I was mortified to discover that the seat of my pants was ripped out from almost the waistline down to the crotch. Suddenly I understood why those people had been laughing at me back at the mall. Suddenly I realized that I had spent hours with this girl I had a crush on, with my underwear hanging out. Did she notice? Was she just being polite and didn't want to say anything? I was absolutely horrified!
I mention this story only because a few minutes ago I went put into the laundry the jeans I was wearing yesterday. The jeans that I had on as I walked around the Winter Park shopping district. The jeans that I wore to the Florida Film Festival. The jeans that, yes, now have a huge tear in the seat of the pants about four inches long.
Argh!
Am I just destined for humilation at the hands of my trousers?
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Sorry, though... that does suck!
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