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I had the most stunningly vivid dream this morning. Usually if I have a dream that follows me to the waking hours it is one that was either so surreal that I knew at the time I was dreaming, or else it was a primal night terror. This morning was something different.
I awoke this morning at 5:30 - a for real awakening, not a Samara/Sadako faux awakening. After months of having to get up that early to care for Ben, my body is aparently programmed to wake up then. I rattled around the house for a bit, read some email, and then laid back down at 7:30 hoping I could catch another hour of sleep. My next memory was in dreamtime, but was so vivid, tactile, and absolutely normal that I did not question its reality. I was leaving Sara's apartment building having put Ben on the bus for school, but I could not find my car. I circled the parking lot twice with the gnawing fear that someone had stolen my car. For a moment I thought to myself that maybe this is just a bad dream, but my rational side told me that was just wishful thinking. I struggled to figure out what to do, and passers-by were staring at me like I was dangerous (probably from the wild look in my eyes as I tried desperately to remember exactly which space I had parked in). I finally sat down on the sidewalk and set down whatever I was carying and put my head in my hands. I realized that I had been carrying a roll of paper towels in one hand, and a black felt tip marker in the other. That seemed strange, and once again I considered the possiblilty that I was simply dreaming, but it wasn't bizarre enough to convince me. Everything just felt so real and normal, not the usual disconnected feeling I have when dreaming. I was absolutely in control of my actions, not simply riding along taking in the view.
I decided to walk around the corner and check for my car over there, which was when I noticed that I was stark naked. It's a tired old cliche, but apparently my brain isn't above working with the tried and true classics. I was almost certain that I was dreaming at that point, and as I started walking again I realized that I was feeling the normal tread of my sneakers on my feet. Looking down I discovered that I was once again fully clothed, my brain finally giving up the ghost and giving me something impossible to recognize so i would stop fighting the dream. At that moment I felt an amazing exultancy as I knew that I was definitely dreaming and I could do anything I wanted. I practicaly skipped up the street grinning ear to ear with my newfound power. A young woman coming the other direction looked at me and smiled, asking why I was so happy. "I'm dreaming," I told her with delight.
"How can you be sure?"
I looked at her more closely. She was not beautiful, nor was she ugly, she was just an average thirty-something woman. I sized her up and then swept her into my arms, saying, "If I wasn't dreaming I would never do this."
As I carried her she giggled with surprise and joy, resting comfortably in the arms of a total stranger. My rational brain started sending up warning flares asking if I really was so sure I was dreaming, because if I wasn't I was headed towards being arrested and charged with indecent liberties or some such thing. My irrational brain asserted itself, basking in the pure glow of the experience of freedom and emotional expression.
From there the dream began to unfold more like one of those letters that begins with "...I never thought this would happen to me, but..."
Of course that's when my alarm clock went off.
I awoke this morning at 5:30 - a for real awakening, not a Samara/Sadako faux awakening. After months of having to get up that early to care for Ben, my body is aparently programmed to wake up then. I rattled around the house for a bit, read some email, and then laid back down at 7:30 hoping I could catch another hour of sleep. My next memory was in dreamtime, but was so vivid, tactile, and absolutely normal that I did not question its reality. I was leaving Sara's apartment building having put Ben on the bus for school, but I could not find my car. I circled the parking lot twice with the gnawing fear that someone had stolen my car. For a moment I thought to myself that maybe this is just a bad dream, but my rational side told me that was just wishful thinking. I struggled to figure out what to do, and passers-by were staring at me like I was dangerous (probably from the wild look in my eyes as I tried desperately to remember exactly which space I had parked in). I finally sat down on the sidewalk and set down whatever I was carying and put my head in my hands. I realized that I had been carrying a roll of paper towels in one hand, and a black felt tip marker in the other. That seemed strange, and once again I considered the possiblilty that I was simply dreaming, but it wasn't bizarre enough to convince me. Everything just felt so real and normal, not the usual disconnected feeling I have when dreaming. I was absolutely in control of my actions, not simply riding along taking in the view.
I decided to walk around the corner and check for my car over there, which was when I noticed that I was stark naked. It's a tired old cliche, but apparently my brain isn't above working with the tried and true classics. I was almost certain that I was dreaming at that point, and as I started walking again I realized that I was feeling the normal tread of my sneakers on my feet. Looking down I discovered that I was once again fully clothed, my brain finally giving up the ghost and giving me something impossible to recognize so i would stop fighting the dream. At that moment I felt an amazing exultancy as I knew that I was definitely dreaming and I could do anything I wanted. I practicaly skipped up the street grinning ear to ear with my newfound power. A young woman coming the other direction looked at me and smiled, asking why I was so happy. "I'm dreaming," I told her with delight.
"How can you be sure?"
I looked at her more closely. She was not beautiful, nor was she ugly, she was just an average thirty-something woman. I sized her up and then swept her into my arms, saying, "If I wasn't dreaming I would never do this."
As I carried her she giggled with surprise and joy, resting comfortably in the arms of a total stranger. My rational brain started sending up warning flares asking if I really was so sure I was dreaming, because if I wasn't I was headed towards being arrested and charged with indecent liberties or some such thing. My irrational brain asserted itself, basking in the pure glow of the experience of freedom and emotional expression.
From there the dream began to unfold more like one of those letters that begins with "...I never thought this would happen to me, but..."
Of course that's when my alarm clock went off.