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Last night I got probably my first solid night's sleep in nearly a month. I suppose that should be a good thing. Unfortunately the reason I was able to get that undisturbed sleep is because I was effectively dismissed from my son's hospital room. Sara and her family do not trust me to be with alone with Ben in the hospital room. More specifically, they do not trust me to be there unless a member of their family is also present. Sara's mother apparently believes that I actually have the intention of causing harm to my son. This, by the way, is the same woman who is currently planning to sue Florida Hospital and the doctors there because she believes there was gross medical negligence there. Although I am not happy with the GI specialist we were seeing there, and I think she should have arrived at the conclusion to send Ben to Shands for the ERCP much sooner, the truth is that she was trying every other available avenue before having him transported 120 miles for a potentially dangerous medical procedure.
So yesterday I was faced with the option of going to war in Ben's hospital room, or walking away. If I thought for a minute that Ben was still in medical peril I would have gone to war. The truth is, however, that Ben is now past the worst of it and is rapidly on the mend. I expect him to be released from the hospital early next week. Starting a major argument right in front of him would achieve nothing useful, so here I am at home.
I am seriously concerned about where this is headed. Sara has now decided to move back in with her parents, who are actively looking for a 4 or 5 bedroom house in Lakeland. Lakeland is sixty miles from Winter Garden, and more than an hour's drive given the types of roads in between. This does not make me happy.
Although I did not go to war this weekend, I am now left with no alternative but to prepare for war in the very near future. I am taking steps to speak to an attorney and do whatever I need to do to protect myself. In nine years we have managed to avoid legal proceedings, and have never particularly abided by the letter of the divorce decree. I have voluntarily increased my child support as my income went up so that Ben would benefit from my career success. I have gone above and beyond to spend time with Ben far in excess of the visitation rights specified in the divorce decree, and that has been good for Ben. Now I may have to fall back on the letter of the visitation rights (two weekends a month, two weeks in the summer) as a starting point if Sara tries to prevent me from seeing him. I hate that it is coming to that, but I can't just roll over and play dead. Ben needs me, and I refuse to fail him.
So yesterday I was faced with the option of going to war in Ben's hospital room, or walking away. If I thought for a minute that Ben was still in medical peril I would have gone to war. The truth is, however, that Ben is now past the worst of it and is rapidly on the mend. I expect him to be released from the hospital early next week. Starting a major argument right in front of him would achieve nothing useful, so here I am at home.
I am seriously concerned about where this is headed. Sara has now decided to move back in with her parents, who are actively looking for a 4 or 5 bedroom house in Lakeland. Lakeland is sixty miles from Winter Garden, and more than an hour's drive given the types of roads in between. This does not make me happy.
Although I did not go to war this weekend, I am now left with no alternative but to prepare for war in the very near future. I am taking steps to speak to an attorney and do whatever I need to do to protect myself. In nine years we have managed to avoid legal proceedings, and have never particularly abided by the letter of the divorce decree. I have voluntarily increased my child support as my income went up so that Ben would benefit from my career success. I have gone above and beyond to spend time with Ben far in excess of the visitation rights specified in the divorce decree, and that has been good for Ben. Now I may have to fall back on the letter of the visitation rights (two weekends a month, two weeks in the summer) as a starting point if Sara tries to prevent me from seeing him. I hate that it is coming to that, but I can't just roll over and play dead. Ben needs me, and I refuse to fail him.
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From:
no subject
i am sending thoughts and prayers that all goes best for him and you.
*hugs*
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
The only thing I'll add here is if you need any charcter references as to what kind of father you are to Ben, don't hesitate to ask.
miws
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
Shoulda previewed.
miws